It’s Okay to Not Be Okay When Dealing With Chronic Illness

Living with chronic illness is hard. Some days are harder than others. Some months can be harder than others. I have to admit, that this has been a hard month for me. I’m struggling to be motivated to do anything. I feel overwhelmed, trapped even, by the weight of some of my chronic illnesses. I’m usually upbeat and optimistic about living with chronic illness, but I am really struggling right now.

It’s so easy to get down on myself when I’m not feeling my best. I don’t feel productive and don’t feel like I’m making positive contributions. But I have to remind myself, that it’s okay to not always be okay.

You aren't alone

I’m not going to pretend I have all of the answers for the “down” times. But I want to get the point across that you aren’t alone in how you are feeling. It’s what you do with those feelings that matters.

One of the most important things I’ve learned about going through these hard times is building a support system and leaning on them. I’ve done my fair share of struggling with depression. It’s taken many years to build the system that I currently have in place. Family, friends, and a good religious foundation are the building blocks of my support structure. But having the support is not all there is to it. You have to lean into and use it! Talk to those people, put in the time, and be honest when you are struggling.

Opening up and sharing with those around you

It’s taken me a long time to learn how to open up with the people who care about me, and I still sometimes fight sharing my negative feelings for fear of placing a burden on others. But I always find strength in confiding with those that I love.

Finding a good counselor is important too. Finding someone to talk to can be challenging, but it’s great to find someone who is impartial, who can challenge some of the negative thoughts, and encourage you to do the hard work. Right now I am working with a counselor who specializes in chronic illness and she has been one of the best things to help me cope.

Taking the time to feel bad

Another thing I’ve had to come to terms with in living with chronic illness is that my life looks different than I thought it would. I frequently have to remind myself that it’s okay to spend the day in bed when I’m not feeling my best. It’s okay to leave the dishes in the sink when I have a migraine and just need to crawl into bed. And it’s okay to sit on the couch and have a good cry session when things aren’t going my way. It’s hard to set aside the thought of things that could have been. I mourn the person I thought I was going to grow up to be. But I take time to listen to those feelings, to actually feel them, and acknowledge the purpose of those feelings.

Sorry for such a downer post, but I feel it’s important that I be honest with myself that life isn’t always sunshine and rainbows. I’ve been struggling this week. And that’s okay. If you have been struggling, that’s okay. It’s what you do with those feelings and those struggles that's important.

How have you been coping lately? Are you struggling or celebrating a victory? Let us know in the comments!