A man grimacing and wringing his hands in frustration as he sits on a couch.

Living With Hives: The Frustration

Oh the frustration of hives! I’ve been battling chronic hives since 2014. I’ve been through so many different medications, creams, and ointments. It’s been so frustrating getting a combination figured out that works. So much trial and tribulation. So much that didn’t work, some that did, some that semi worked.

Constant changes

I’m currently taking allegra and xyzal. It works, as long as I stay consistent with the doses. Sometimes I forget or get distracted and don’t take it. Then it’s days to catch up and ensure I don't go into a flare. Meanwhile the doctors keep changing things up, which just furthers my frustration. I’m lucky to have a good team, however the constant changes to meds, doses, and such doesn’t help keep things consistent. To see what’s working and what isn’t. Having to try to keep a log of what’s changed, what new triggers occurred or what didn’t cause a reaction, isn’t easy to begin with, then add in ever changing meds and doses, it’s almost impossible to keep track of what’s what.

Frustration living with hives

While I know doctors, well most doctors, mean well, we need better communication between patient and doctor. We need to cut down the mistrust. We also need to work together as a team. As a patient with multiple chronic illnesses, I've had my share of horrible experiences with doctors. It’s taken time and work to find a great team. Even now, there’s still some frustration when they change things up. Which, I feel, is understandable.

How do we handle the frustration? There’s many different ways we can handle the frustration from living with hives. I do a few of the following:

  • Reading
  • Take a bath
  • Listen to music
  • Journal
  • Communicate your frustration with your doctor in a respectful manner.


We all deal differently. For me, the above works best. I try to take a bath each night. This helps me to relax not only my body, but my mind. I find self care so important in dealing with chronic illness. I think we sometimes lose sight of that, or feel it’s selfish. I truly believe it is an important part of us, of managing things.

Frustration, anger, sadness, these are all common emotions when dealing with chronic illness. Chronic hives are difficult to live with. You itch all the time, managing triggers, and treatments. It can take a toll on a person. Practicing self care is essential. We need to find ways to decompress, and handle our emotions and process things. I think at times our frustrations take center stage, and it’s such an effort to move past that. I understand that, I live with that as well.

Let’s practice self care, for ourselves. Not for anyone but ourselves. Let’s start putting ourselves first, focusing on filling our cup. Let’s find ways to relax, to do something for ourselves. To let go of the frustration, or to redirect the energy into something else. Try journaling, planting flowers, a walk in a park. Let’s create a list of self care activities. Let’s not let our hives win, and control our lives in  such a way that we lose our joy.

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