No Energy At All

Sigh! Energy to write down what I feel is sometimes so difficult. Especially because I am still looking for answers and it takes a lot of energy away from me. Do you know that feeling? Tired of everything that comes your way? I try very hard to stay positive and take my medication on time, but I'm getting so tired of this uncertainty. It just seems unstoppable, the itching, tiredness, red rash, etc.

Lately, I've noticed that I'm getting a bit irritated from the itching. I try to hide it very often and ignore it so that I don't have to deal with it.

The happy formula doesn't exist

Actually, I am quite a positive person, and I try to extract a lesson or wisdom from every difficult situation. But now it just doesn't work! That happy formula does not come into its own.

A few days ago I dared to be honest with myself and I had to admit that I don't feel comfortable in my body. And that I find it difficult to keep having to itch and feel insecure. This feeling is mainly because I have a strange burning sensation on my face more and more often, and the itching starts at my ears, and my neck, and runs very quickly through my whole body.

Whenever I think it's under control, something new seems to develop. My face has been the center of this “new” situation for the past few weeks. I try to take pictures so that I can slowly but surely build a "case" to discuss with the doctor. Strange swellings and spots on my face, which come and go, have been the determinant of my "sad" feeling.

Writing is therapy

My energy level to write something has dropped enormously because of this and yet I have to say that this writing works like a kind of therapy. Writing about your own experience, making yourself vulnerable, can be a little scary at times, but on the other hand, it also feels like a relief. I believe that there are several people who experience this, and because of my story, they no longer feel alone. And vice versa of course. That I know I'm not alone.

This journey can be very lonely, but I hope one day that we will have some more answers and solutions to get rid of this.

I have listed a number of things for myself to find out what triggers my body in this way.

• Busy with new projects
• Increase in stress (positive and negative)
• Getting used to new situations
• Traveling a lot
• Worrying unconsciously or consciously

Self-care with Alicia Keys

I've decided to take a weekend to myself and spoil myself, in the hope that it will help make my body "healthy" again. It was an amazing weekend with a lot of wellness activities, shopping, laughing, and happiness! During the wellness activities I was talking to the lady who did my face and I realized that I need to be more conscious about my face. Especially with all the burning and itchiness.

When I arrived back home I did some research about dermatology-tested products so I can maybe help my face to be less irritated and dry. In the hope that it will be less burning. I purchased the "face" product line from Alicia Keys and I hope that it will help me a little bit. The products are dermatology tested, and at least I'm enjoying the very nice smell.

As I mentioned before, even though it can be a very lonely and insecure journey, sometimes all we need is that one small step to keep pushing us moving forward.

Hopefully, this helps and I'll be happy to keep you informed of my new plan of action.